Hate is the new Love

scene: naptime as i leave the room

me: i love you, buddy.

nash: i love you better.

scene: my bedroom as i'm contemplating how to dress

me: i don't think i'm going to the gym today.

husband: why not?

me: laundry and stuff...i just don't feel like it.

husband: i'll do the laundry. you should go to the gym.

me: i don't want to

husband: {insert meaningful comment that i won't share}. go to the gym. you'll feel better after.

me: i hate you.

i dress for the gym

scene: a few minutes later in the kitchen

me: nash put your shoes & socks on.

nash: no.

husband: come on, nash, i'll help you get your shoes on.

nash: no! i hate you!

me: see. it's not just me. he hates you, too.

scene: 10 minutes later outside. husband standing next to my car as nash & i are about to drive away

me: bye. i hate you.

nash shouting from the back seat: i hate you better.