The email I can't write

I'm an optomistic person by nature - always have been. I try to only complain to my closest friends who will recognize the true me underneath all the whiney mess. And yet....I find myself unendingly mad at someone (or maybe several someones) that I've never met and need a place to vent in the real world. My head is getting sick of the same angry ramblings on a daily basis. Sooooo.....

Welcome to my rant!

We're unemployed...and I say that like a man might say "We're pregnant!" As a family we've decided it's my job to be the main care taker for our home and children. Harland's unplanned 20 months of unemployment hasn't changed that.

We paid Cobra costs for our health care insurance as long as we were eligible. Now we're on Medi-Cal. It took me several months to bring myself to apply. We've gone through our meager savings and haven't gone into debt. We've survived rather well, partially in thanks to living with my mom and partially because we had no debt to begin with. We're not on food stamps, although I'm sure we'd qualify. We are actively involved in our children's schools and church activities. We don't have our kids in sports or music lessons, because it's out of our budget.  We've made lots of sacrifices. I don't need to list them. I'm not looking for a pity party.

My point is we are honestly doing our best to weather this "storm" and maintain our standards.

Yet, both Harland and I on separate occassions (more than once each) have heard employed people complaining about their job or "wishing" they could just take help from the government instead of working. Generally, it's people who don't know us or our circumstance, but....seriously?!

We are - even in our circumstance - trying to heed the prophet's counsel to be grateful. I supposed that is a blessing/ benefit of believing in the current prophet of our Lord. (Want to know more - just ask me!) I can't expect others to believe the same thing.

There's the rub. The longer we're unemployed, the more I realize how blissfully ignorant other people are.

For example, Harland applied for a job in July at a new hotel that is opening in Park City. He got a call within a few days scheduling an interview. The guy not only didn't call on the scheduled day, but didn't answer Harland's call either....until a month later. Then he got passed on to another Guy who has not kept a single phone appointment (he kept the one in person appointment) or deadline that he gave himself. NOT ONE. The last time Harland talked to The Guy he excitedly gave him details/benefits of the job and all but offered him the job then said he would call in 2 days. I called my sister who lives in Utah to share my excitement about the possibility of having a job and being close to her. We sat on pins and needles waiting for him to call.

It's been more than 3 weeks.

Harland emailed him once and never got a return answer. You'd think we'd "get a clue", realize they chose another candidate, and move on. Well, in a sense, we have, since Harland is applying for all sorts of jobs and has a fairly good local lead. But when someone has such a reputation of not keeping appointments it is difficult to give up hope. Actually, at this point, hope is all we seem to hang on to. Daily I stop myself from sending him a nasty email by writing it in my head.

Unfortunately, this is not unique in Harland's long search for a job. Not even a little. Employers constantly avoid the unpleasant task of informing the candidate that they are not hiring. Some have even passed it off to other people who weren't involved in the hiring process. Some just wait weeks before they let you know. Others (the kind we like) call and field Harland's questions about why he wasn't hired and what he could've done better in the interview process (must give those guys big props).

This isn't just a job search for Harland. This is a job search for our whole family. Occassionally, like the Park City job, we even share our excitement with people we love. When we wait, they wait. When we get disappointed, so do they. So, when you ask how things are if I answer "fine", please understand. I don't need to pull anyone else into our circle of disappointment. 

And if you are in charge of hiring people or know someone who is... man up. Do the unpleasant tasks now. Don't make me wait. It's just rude.    

Popular

Anyone want to dress up like the Carpenters and crash a party Saturday night? Take your pick.

Nash's Day of Crime

Apparently, the cat burglaring was just the beginning.

Har and I took Nash (or as some call him "the Legend") for a quick trip to the grocery store. We promised a treat for good behavior - not an every trip occassion, but we knew it would be neccessary yesterday. As we were walking out of the store he realized he didn't have his treat. Har followed him back into the store to pay up for the appearance of Good Nash. Alas, Good Nash was long gone. By the time Har caught up to Naughty Nash he was out the door with Airheads in hand making a break for his getaway mini-van. Husband took him inside, made him fess up & apologize, and told him there would be no treats today. It was a fun 2 block ride home in the car.

Fast forward a few hours. I'm making dinner. Har is watching something about football (or maybe it was actual football, I'm not sure). The phone rings. I check the caller ID and wonder why the Sheriff's Department is calling. Then go back to work as someone else has answered. Apparently, the someone else was Nash. Naughty, naughty Nash. He'd highjacked a phone and been hiding in his room calling 911. I guess he needed someone to talk to.

The phrase "lucky to be alive" comes to mind.

Cat Burglar...?

On a recent afternoon, I locked some children out of my house. Believe me they deserved it. 

Wicked older children decided to get the younger child with the smaller arm to try to unlock the door...as if he didn't already find the mail slot useful.

I'm A Sucker...

...for these three new freckles. They are only a slightly lighter shade of brown than his gorgeous eyes, they form an charming triangle, and they sit just off center on his perfect little nose.

If I look at them too long I can't say "No"...and we all know Nash needs to be told "No" on a regular basis.

Absentee

I haven't blogged in more than a month. A month! Perhaps because I'm enjoying my children being home from school...and Har still being gainfully unemployed. For example, next week we'll be camping here (p.s. we're not using a camper - because we don't have one).

See you when my summer vacation is over!

Playing tourist. Playing chef.

I've got a backlog of family fun I haven't blogged. Here's a sampler...

TOURISTS

We gave Aunt Kay a lift from LAX to Santa Barbara and decided to check out the beaches. We got our exercise and toured the coast on this cool...bike. I guess you'd call it that. It was the perfect day: cool and sunny. Funny enough, I think our favorite part was when we drove through the Santa Barbara Cemetary on our way home. Beautiful views. My camera phone couldn't capture the beauty of this tree on the edge of the bluff with the ocean behind. Gorgeous. Not to mention the fascinating history just reading the gravestones. Is it weird that I like cemetaries?

CHEFS

J.R. with her fancy crepe pan
Emma and I saw a cooking show where this chef woman with crazy hair made crepes. We've been wanting to make them ever since. We saved it on our DVR because crazy-haired chef lady didn't have the recipe on her show's website. *hmpf!*

We had to wait for fresh cherries to go on sale. (Harland never misses that. I think he ate 5 lbs. by himself that week.) Lucky for me, it was the week of my birthday. We pitted ours (something new to try!) and made a yummy topping. Inside was a mixture of marscapone cheese, a little sugar and mini chocolate chips.

Emma working hard (see the tongue?) to make crepes in a regular pan.


This was the delicious result. Birthday cake paled in comparison to this dessert. Mmmmmm.

Differences

I carefully planned my last trip to Barnes & Noble. The boys were camping. Emma was at a friend's house. (Free time! No one to chase!) I had a $25 gift card to spend and no idea what I wanted to buy. After 3 hours (yes, three!) of wandering the stacks (none of which were in the children's section), leafing through books and sampling CDs in their music department I decided on this book (a sequel to this book which I read last summer) and a CD by this girl who I'd never heard of before but thought I'd like. There were probably 3 or 4 more books I would've liked and a CD or 2 that would've quickly been ripped and added to my MP3 player, but I stayed within my budget and still had some fantastic alone time.

Yesterday, my mom came home from a day out with Papa and a Don (family friend from AZ). Among the grocery bags I noticed the familiar Barnes & Noble bags. 2 bags! I was instantly jealous and went to peek at what treasures she'd found. I opened the first bag and was a little confused, so I checked the second bag, too. Sure enough it was identical to the first. Harry & David chocolate and chocolate covered popcorn. 6 boxes. So I ask my mom, "You went to B&N and all you bought was chocolate?"

Her immediate response, "IT WAS ON SALE! HALF OFF!"

sigh

39...for the first time

I'm not one to lie about my age. I say embrace your age...well, in theory. Last week, Rachel, my BFF, turned 39 (sorry to out you, sista). We had a rip roaring weekend where she got to eat whatever she wanted and not make any plans (yes, this is what is exciting to us these days)! Tomorrow is my turn. We're grilling (after church) and will have a fairly mellow "party" with just my family hanging out...like most Sundays around here.



I'm not against turning 39, but I'm not looking forward to it either. With some introspection (I didn't make that word up. I have a big vocabulary...or maybe I heard it on The Big Bang Theory) the thing that bothers me about being 39 *sigh* is that my next birthday...oh, I don't know if I can say it...I'll ...turn....*choke*....FORTY! 365 days until I am in my forties.

Why?! Why does it bother me so? My wonderful grandmother, Beth Fenton, used to tell me all the time, "Don't get old, dear. It's awful." Thanks, Gram.

But what am I worried about? 40 isn't old! I have friends who are in their forties. Fabulous, cool, funny, women who I admire (or is it "whom" - whatever). So, next year I could celebrate my 2nd annual 39th birthday....

...but instead I have 365 days to embrace the milestone that is coming my way. If I'm going to embrace it then I want a big party. I'm not talking a couple of my close friends at Chili's either. I'm talking throw down, all out, everyone I know is invited celebration of AnnaBeth.

Next year. Put it on your calendar, especially, if you are one of those women I love in their 40s (and if you are reading my blog, then I love you). I want every wonderful woman in her 40s that I know to come and share your secrets, share all the things you love about your age.

June 6, 2011.
Party.
My house.

Hate is the new Love

scene: naptime as i leave the room

me: i love you, buddy.

nash: i love you better.

scene: my bedroom as i'm contemplating how to dress

me: i don't think i'm going to the gym today.

husband: why not?

me: laundry and stuff...i just don't feel like it.

husband: i'll do the laundry. you should go to the gym.

me: i don't want to

husband: {insert meaningful comment that i won't share}. go to the gym. you'll feel better after.

me: i hate you.

i dress for the gym

scene: a few minutes later in the kitchen

me: nash put your shoes & socks on.

nash: no.

husband: come on, nash, i'll help you get your shoes on.

nash: no! i hate you!

me: see. it's not just me. he hates you, too.

scene: 10 minutes later outside. husband standing next to my car as nash & i are about to drive away

me: bye. i hate you.

nash shouting from the back seat: i hate you better.

7th grade - check!

Ok, so the year isn't over, but this week Emma and one of her besties, Amber, got inducted into California Junior Scholarship Federation for their hard work, good grades, and time spent volunteering. Aren't they lovely?

That and her progress report was stellar and there are only 3ish weeks left of the school year and she was doing a big ole happy dance yesterday as she informed me that her math teacher is recommending her for honors math next year. She happy danced over math.

I am not going to be so lucky with my boys, am I?

Mom's Choice Saturday

Last weekend Har had ditched us for a roadtrip with his BFF, Norman. We had no birthday parties, school concerts, church activities...nuthin. I love that rare Saturday where no one expects me/us anywhere. Love it.



Take that Saturday and add some beautiful, sunny weather. What other choice do we have, but to go to the coast?

So I grabbed my latest issue of Family Fun with an article about Ventura - one of my favorite places to hang out when I was a kid - and decided to do some things in Ventura we haven't done before. No solid plans except to hang out with my kids in the beautiful weather. Emma & Nashers. Why do I love these things you put your head in?

Dedan the octopus

We beached, we boated, we ate...it was a lovely, fun day. My children are amazing. I'm so blessed to be their mother. I love hanging out with them and watching them play together and enjoy each others company. As a mother, there is no greater joy than to see my kids love each other...is there?

Fantastic day. I wish every Saturday was so perfect. Well, it could've been more perfect....if Har was with us, but we won't fault him for hanging with Uncle Norman.

There was this little hat store where we tried lots on. Emma seemed to prefer the funny food hats.

My gator boys.

Ice cream tastes better at the beach, especially if there's a giant cone outside the store.

We got to the beach and my kiddos played together in the sand "dunes" by the parking lot for 20 minutes before we even walked down to the water.

Emma is a big nerd who is teaching her brothers her "model" pose. Seriously.

Nash & me at a little hole in the wall fish & chips place on Seaward...

the whole place is decorated with dollar bills that people wrote on. Pretty cool.